“Getting older is not for cowards!” my father would say. As a Normandy vet, he was no one to mince words. We’re exhausted physically in ways we did not think possible. We break more easily in more ways than one. Shoulders, ribs, even teeth! (I never thought of a carrot as a threat until last year.)
We have pretty much had our fill of nonsense. Life is short. If you have not grown up by 65, you have very little time left to pull it off. Please act now! We have also had our fill of stupidity for its own sake. I had to get meds for retinal degeneration and the pharmacist has a dry sense of humor. I had finished a strange morning and said, “Do you also have a treatment for stupidity?”.
“If we did, we would be rich. But then we could also never keep up with the demand.”
I like him, he is a practical man.
As seniors we need to approach the end of our lives well. First, if you have made ghastly blunders, say so. If you cheated on your wife, broke the law, or skimmed on your taxes, honestly admit this to your children. (Also apologize to your wife, pay up on those taxes, and tell the kids what you learned from meeting a human judge.) First thing is, they probably already know, or sense it. Better they hear the truth from you. Few things are as gut wrenching as realizing after death that dad was not always by mom’s side like you thought, or good friends learning late in life they have half siblings. Fix things while you can. I honestly was not as close with mom as my dad. She was always a bit nervous and he was gregarious and outgoing. He died and I realized my mother was heroic and I didn’t realize the extent until after she passed at 93. (I love my father just as much, but would have been so much more understanding of why the dear woman was so nervous if I better realized what she was sacrificing for love of her family.)
I recall a divorced woman who received a call from her husband who ran off with his secretary, bought a red car and did the late midlife, leave the church meltdown. His kids were polite but knew who he was despite his talk slick explanations. When he got cancer, he called his first wife who said, “It’s too late for me and you, it is not too late for you and Jesus.”
He set things right with God, then he was honest with his children who had grown weary of his lavish story of his long held love for the secretary and how his first wife, who married him as an untried businessman, cleaned the house, raised the kids and stood by him till he was successful enough in his own eyes to walk out the door into moral failure. When he told the truth, he found the depth of his children’s love again. Truth really does set you free. That has never been revised nor revoked.
If you wish you had done things differently, fewer extravagances and greater sacrificial giving, tell your kids and at the same time start doing it. We’re going out of here in a box. Leave your children a legacy of love, and generosity. Let it “all on the field” as they say in football, for us “all for the field” might be more accurate. A spiritual legacy is far more precious than stocks and it cannot lose its value.
Distanced siblings are a tough one: often that might not be your choice. Try to keep the doors open as best you can. Once our parents are gone, our lives might diverge significantly due to factors beyond our control, but be sure to leave the door open. It’s a good example to your children.
In each quarter of any match, adjustments are made. In this final quarter of life, remember these adjustments determine the way you finish it all.
Things You Did Not Learn in Bible College 