Dying to Yourself in a Safe Place

The world has a lot of new words and phrases. “Politically Correct”. “Emotionally Safe”. “Unconscious Bias” and even “Boundaries” can be misused when they become an excuse for prioritizing yourself above others. Like many things, I hope much of this will pass with time. I am apolitical. Some days I feel more emotional than others. Unless someone is threatening my life, I do not feel “unsafe” and “emotional safety” is a great term coined by the world to make another self-centered experience truth. “Unconscious bias” is a bit Orwellian. I got a letter one time saying I had “thoughts that do violence to other people”. This apparently is because I go to church and read the Bible. I am not guessing that is the reason, they specifically named church going as a form of “thought violence”. I can say with certainty the person who made the comment knows zippo about my thoughts and I am not a mind reader of others in the congregation but I am sure they are not violent. If they are like me, they spend a good deal of time thinking about where they left their eyeglasses. The world is self-centered so we accept that is how the world thinks, which should not be confused with, “Act like the culture”.

The problem is when this language and mindset crept into the Church. People need to feel “safe”. God manifested Himself in the person of Jesus not for your safety but your salvation. He came to save you from your sins and then send you, in gratitude, to a world of people like yourself who need saving from their own sins and lack of understanding of the love of God.

I have had real safety issues. They required a room in which I could lock our family and wait out an impending attack. Safety did not mean I could not share a coffee with someone who was unlike me. It certainly did not mean I took advantage of someone’s good nature as long as it benefited me and when I no longer needed them I withdraw on the pretense of “I’m OK, that person is not. I will retreat to my safe place feigning responsibility while actually dumping my immaturity on them”. That does nothing more than allow people to create their own personal version of truth which is actually deceitful and destructive to both the speaker and possibly to the hearer. I would phrase that more gently but I have concluded it is unkind to not to speak the truth here. People err. You are a person. If you are the standard of perfection, then I assure you, you will find an infinitely small number of people with whom you feel safe. As you are not perfect, you should be really comfortable being with other non-perfect people and comforting to other non-perfect people as well. That’s your choice. The alternative is a very lonely future.

The world is lost. Lost. People are desperately in need not of being their true selves. Your true self is either a self-promoting delusion or a truthful disappointment. People need to see themselves as desperately inadequate, and in need of a Savior who loves them without condition. No one is going to figure this out while hiding in self-protection.

As Christians, we are called to die to ourselves daily. You cannot do that in a “safe place” where you feel OK “safe” dying to yourself. Dying is not comfortable. It does it prioritize your needs. The Christian concept of dying to self, prioritizes others and their need to know Jesus.

Sacrifice your ego, your anger, your sense of rights, your idea of what is healthy for you personally (which might be very unhealthy for someone else, which you are biblically required to consider) and live for Jesus.

It is written, “We are dead and our lives are hid with Christ in God”. If you believe that, cut up your safety net, get out of your space and let go of your indignation. Live like someone who knows their ties to this present world and all the ideology that goes with it, is past.

Ultimately, you age and when you do, you do not want to regret years spent wasted in self-protection. We are “always, only, all for Him”.

People Age, So Will You

I often sit with my very dear neighbor, who could be my mother, in that she is 18 years older than I am. I have learned much about this city from her. Much of the history of this island. She corrects my Italian as I periodically mix in some other language or dialect and we enjoy a daily “miranda” which is the afternoon snack around 4:30 PM. I check in with her every day before I leave the house, and every night before I go to bed.

She loves the Lord. She has great faith and at times, I feel she is giving me a preview of my future. She inadvertently turns off her cell data while swiping her phone and is frustrated she cannot send messages so I turn it back on for her. She is stressed that she cannot do what she once did.  Her air-conditioner controls are confusing and one is in English, so she spent weeks sweltering as her controls were set to cool the room to the upper 80s and hence did little to assist those of us on the top floor of a stone building when triple digit temps were the norm outside.  As we age, we need more time to recover, the importance of staying comfortably cool is greater, and the inability to control that for oneself is even more frustrating.

She reminisces about her family and her life reflectively, at times with sorrow, as her life has not been easy. People are unable to see past the wealth her husband acquired years ago, now long on spent medical tragedies that have devastated their family. She is fully dependent on her stipend to meet her needs but people speak as though she had not a care in the world. She is frustrated by the limitations of age and like us all, is surprised as each year imposes some new limit for which we were unprepared.  When she does not sleep she is easily confused and yet mentally she is sharp. Her body is changing as happens to us all, but she senses the sudden change it alarms her. She is a brilliant and gifted woman who wishes to acquire nothing because she realizes life does not go on forever.

She is a vital part of my life, and one of the reasons Jesus has us here. That is a good thing. If you are near a person advanced in years, see yourself as the hands of Jesus to your neighbor.

So to you young pastors out there, take the time needed to sit and listen. The most vital thing you can do at any moment is listen. The media presentation is not as urgent as the profound loss of being needed as we age.

To those of us who are older, we have a purpose, but we must accept the fact our limitations grow with each passing year. That makes us normal, not useless. It is incredibly frustrating, but it is the one result of the fall none of us can escape. We will eventually die and a generation following us will carry on, most of them full speed ahead, until we are suddenly no more, and they realize this too shall happen to them.

No ages are given for those in the Bible for whom the Lord took the time to stop and listen and heal. But I am sure if an old man or woman cried out, they would merit no less of His time or attention than someone younger.

Don’t Let Social Media Eat Your Fruit

One of the nice things about being older is you can say the truth and don’t really care if it upsets anyone. So I am going to say a vital truth because you really got to get this one folks. Really. It’s really important.

In ancient times, meaning before digital cameras and phones, people in our line of work frantically took photos to create a “slide show” just before they went home on furlough. This was a step of faith as the photos were not automatically in focus. But people were remarkably forgiving. The reality is, normal people do not spend their entire day creating events of which to take photos unless they are “influencers” which I believe is job that might be summarized as “I can tell a good story and do no work, but I make great pics that get likes”.

I have read posts that are very moving, and only in the last couple of years have learned how deceiving posts can be. There is a pressure to post to sound impactful. The truth is stretched, details that are untrue are added and honestly, I have read some and thought, “Wow, quite the tale, about half of it is true”. Posting pressure is so great, posts can be very misleading.  People run into something, take photos, write a story based on their incorrect understanding and get a lot of likes.  They are not trying to deceive, but they posted something, much of which was untrue, to meet a need to seem to be making an impact.  For whose sake are we posting? For prayer?  For support?  For the glory of Jesus?  Those are important questions to consider every time we hit the button.

Not every day is amazing, nor remotely fit for social media. The hours you spend sweeping up after the youth group do not make for great IG moments. The kid who calls you at 2AM is when you are dazed and half asleep and his girlfriend broke up with him, is your real job.  You just can’t post that but it mattered a lot more than the paint ball party that made it to your feed. 

Do what matters, not what the world wants to see. Jesus so often pulled people OUT OF SIGHT to heal them. He told them, “DON’T TELL ANYONE” after doing the miraculous. I guess He did not understand marketing. Maybe we are wisest to follow His example.

My concern for the current generation is that the pressure to look good outweighs the need to do well. Do things that matter, without a preoccupation that to sound like you are daily changing the world. None of us is changing the world. Jesus is. Your best moments are servant-like. They are not glamorous. Take out the trash even though you can’t do a post about molded plastic bags. Do it out anyway. Serve. We are called to imitate the Humble One, not to make amazing impressions. Those in the most difficult situations in the world, cannot share a thing about their lives, but the Almighty sees.  Keep in mind, the importance audience is the Audience of One. 

The character of Christ is summed up in the fruit of the Spirit. None of those traits can be captured on social media. Don’t let the pressures of the day, eat your fruit. Concentrate on fruit that “shall remain” and He, who sees that which cannot be posted, nor shared in public, will reward you with a crown that gets the only “Like” that matters.


You Can Never Go Home and That’s OK  

My last blog was based on the last district council I attended prior to leaving the US.  I was sitting next to Dee, who is now with the Lord, but we were about the same age and at a table full of overseas workers.  A couple, who seemed elderly to me at the time, though likely would look much younger to me now, were seated nearby and were to be honored that night for their many years of service.

Being 30 and naïve, I asked how they felt about “returning home”.

“You can never go home again”, replied the husband with what looked to be basset hound eyes, but totally sincere.

I turned to Dee and said, “Chipper little couple aren’t they” and her eyes widened, and we smiled and carried on.

Thirty-six years later I can say with absolute certainty that you can never go home again.  Here’s the thing:

The culture of your homeland is absolutely nothing like you imagine it to be.  Furloughs consist of running frantically around from family to family and church to church and you really have no idea how much things have changed.  You notice things but are not there long enough to really understand that the national mindset is different than you think. I do not ‘intuit’ the mindset of my home country, nor even, often, of my friends.

People at this age in life have a lot of family going on. Their kids grew up and got married and had other kids and we haven’t the energy we once had.  One friend said to me, “I pictured retirement as a chance to unwind. Incredibly, I am a full-time babysitter”.  Other friends, who are in time warps because of disabled children, or raising their grandchildren, are oddly more like me, because their life progression has kept them from moving along at the same pace as the rest of the world.

But even with our friends, and even with our families, we missed the years of shared memories that come with being able to see one another. We no longer have a relationship with the members of the church which sent us out.  The demographic of the church has changed. No one knows who you are, and you don’t know them.  The church family that once was the backbone of your support, has moved on either to Glory, Florida, or another church closer to their kids or assisted living facility.

We have developed odd habits, whether we realize it or not.  In a European context, I am a notorious under-reactor. I tell that to anyone coming to work with me. “If it stresses you out, you need to tell me flat out because I am not going to intuitively know”. If something is not on fire, being fired up, in flames, or bleeding, I tend to triage it a bit lower than most. My take on most things is if people get enough sleep and some good ice cream and the moon quarters, everything will be OK.  I don’t panic easily, which is not a trait in my homeland anymore.

I learned that I am terrible, truly terrible, at “code switching” which is a complicated way to say, “Please do not use more than one language with me in the same sentence” because I genuinely cannot understand you. This is apparently very common, and I had observed it in friends before I realized how often I must have seemed rude by saying, “What?” to someone who tried to insert English in a friendly way in a sentence.  When I return to my home country, if you want to speak another language to me, please tell me so I change gears.

We have never owned a home. I have zero skills in buying one. I do not understand Medigap insurance.  I find US politics confusing and dislike it intensely. I have also learned that disliking politics is considered a hate crime as one is obliged to agree with whoever one is talking to at any given time.  People are fragile. If they like broccoli and you do not they might need space because you are threatening to them because you have different vegetable preferences. 

Our children do not live in the same country as that to which we shall return.  We need to be independent as long as we can be lest we burden anyone.  We need to be useful as long as we can, because so long as we have breath in our body, God has a purpose for us on this earth.

And all of this is good. 

I realize it didn’t sound so good the way I said it, because I hate being lonely.  But years ago we set our face to a better city and a better country, “One whose Builder and Maker is God”.  That is when we will be home again. From now, till then, we are pilgrims and strangers and sojourners, which is exactly what we were called to be.

Ministry is a Real Job

Thirty-six years ago, I was attending what was then called, “District Council”, the annual meeting of ministers in our region of the country.  I remember the message well, because the speaker had the good sense to speak the truth in humor, which in our neck of the woods is the same thing as love. Laying a foundation of scripture, he pointed out that many a ministry struggles because the ground where the worker labors is hard ground. Many other ministries, however, struggle because the stewards of the ministry simply don’t show up and put in the work necessary to see fruit.  He told the story of a pastor who complained of the challenges where he worked, and with whom he spent a week to observe how things functioned in the church on a daily basis. What struck him most was that the pastor arrived at 9:30 in the morning, had his devotions, and by the time 11 AM rolled around felt it was too close to lunch time to begin anything new, so he would go home for two to three hours for family time. He would then return in the afternoon around 2 PM and finish up around 4 PM when the church secretary left the office.  For clearly predictable reasons, he was often stressed out on Saturdays trying to prepare his message for Sunday morning and again for the evening service. He was working about ten to fifteen hours a week, plus speaking on Wednesday night and twice on Sunday. 

I recall a church planter who said the best thing that ever happened to him was getting off a church staff and having to plant.  To launch the church he needed a part time secular job and he had his first glimpse into the lives of his congregation.  The people who attend your church are out the door at 7 AM to get to work by 8 AM and rare is the soul who works only 8 hours in a day.  In our years leading up to full time ministry we worked about 50 hours a week at our regular jobs, drove straight to church, and were there for volunteer staff meetings, youth events, and the twice Sunday service.  That meant we spent another 12 to 15 hours a week at church after our secular jobs, and the commute to church was about thirty minutes each way.

The pastor under whom we worked, had four kids and a house close to the church, and recognizing that his volunteer staff was fairly hungry by 8:30 PM would often have us all over and his wife would cook something up, so we were happy as we headed back home to rise at 5:30 the next morning.  (I was normally at work by 7AM and left about 6PM).  The staff were all full time professionals but one mom, who was a full time mom, which as we all know, is a 24/7 occupation.

As I look at the young people making an impact, they understand the importance of “showing up”.  If they are tired, or the baby cried all night or whatever else it might be, they take their ministerial work for what it is: a matter of life and death for the lost.  They understand that if the people supporting the work of the ministry, do not have checks magically appear on their desks but must spend time in prayer and intercession before they attend their day job, and often are showing up at service after a long and stressful day at work. That is entirely healthy. It is a sign of good stewardship.

In these days of storytelling, influencing, and social media, there are invariably people who appear to be doing a great deal when in fact, they are just really super with media.  I have read posts and chuckled, because I either knew the real story, or recognized that a moving and emotional post that would cause people to believe they were following a planet shaker, was in fact, created by someone who spent about an hour on the job and an equal amount of time “content creating” to keep themselves employed.  The kingdom of God is not so built.

We rely on the strength and the power of the Holy Spirit.  We have a message so compelling that if we truly believe it, we will be unable to keep it to ourselves.  To share the gospel effectively, no matter what form of ministry in which one is involved, also requires an honest work ethic.  If you do not put as much time and effort into ministry as you would if you had a secular job, you need to remember to Whom you ultimately will give an account.  “It is required of a steward, that a man be found faithful” (I Cor. 4:2).  Be faithful.  Work at ministry with the at the very least, the level of commitment you would be required to give to a secular employer.  Daily faithfulness, will bring rewards.

What To Do When Leadership Sins (Part Two)

This post took a long time to write because it is painful. I am years removed from my own head-on experience with devastating sin in leadership but it remains painful to reflect on it. Most will go a lifetime without personally confronting morally comprised leadership but others will not. I write this from my own personal experience.

Don’t Compromise Scripture

If the Bible forbids something, it is forbidden. If you are under leadership that tells you to participate in or overlook something illegal, immoral or un-scriptural, do not do it.  When a leader is stressing that “You are under my covering”, yet is covering up evil, remember that evil is something we don’t cover up. Many a fallen man has cherry picked the verse, “I will not touch the Lord’s anointed”, while ignoring the fact it refers to David’s refusal to kill a man in cold blood while he went to the toilet. That does not justify protecting sinful leadership. Any leader who identifies with Saul should cause you to follow David’s example: do no violence, pray, and go far away.

Don’t Be Shocked

For some reason, when leadership sins, we are shocked. The scriptures warn of false shepherds and wolves in sheep clothing, ‘super apostles’ who live to exploit and all other manner of deception. Jesus forewarned us that there would be leaders who sin and everything Jesus said is true.

Don’t Be Confused

Invariably, someone will suggest you need to be passive in the face of leadership sin. The mantra will be that you must watch, pray and trust God to deal with the situation. Like all half-truths, it is 50% wrong.  You watch, pray and trust God but you do not need to be passive. Jesus was not passive about the Pharisees. The New Testament writers address corrupt leadership, sometimes by name and not very gently either. (Examples: 2 Peter 2, 3 John, 2 Corinthians 9-11). Do not accept in the church that which you would never tolerate from the secular world.

Don’t Answer Fools According to Their Folly

Read Toxic Faith. You are not crazy. The authors point out that corrupt leaders normally attack those who are trying to help them. It will happen. Do not waste time defending yourself. The leader hiding wrongdoing is creating the proverbial smoke screen and you are in it.  You can fight fires but not smoke.  A person committed to a destructive and foolish course of action can only exhaust and damage you if you try and engage them on their own terms.

Years ago, after privately addressing an issue with a leader, I learned that the man accessed my private medical records. I was stunned. Within a month, he went even further and issued a letter of reprimand that detailed a series of fabricated events. He created detailed descriptions of my anti-leadership “offenses” but got so lost in the minutiae that he didn’t check my travel schedule. Providentially, he fabricated offenses on three dates when I was not in the country where he claimed I was at the time he claimed I had said or done X, Y, Z.  Although he lied and I had the boarding passes to prove it, this had no bearing on the outcome. Moral of the story: you cannot rationalize with irrational people and the scripture tells us not to do so.

Don’t Neglect Matthew 18

The instructions given in Matthew 18 are meant to protect us not only from sin but also from slander. If you address sin and are not heard, bring someone with you. If there is no response, bring the matter to the church, or, if that avenue is closed, to the larger church leadership. Likewise, if you are falsely accused insist that there be witnesses and the accusations made public. In the situation mentioned above, I was confident no rational group of people would believe I could exist simultaneously on multiple continents. The leadership’s response when I asked for scriptural treatment was, “We would never do that so we don’t embarrass you and your family”.  Refusal to follow scripture proves the lack of integrity of the charge.

Don’t Go Herd

People like to stay safe and in areas that touch our spiritual life, we are very vulnerable. Never compromise your integrity for the sake of playing it safe and going with the large body of believers. Avoid the ‘herd mentality’. If you can get 100 people to participate in 1% of a wrong, they will feel 99% justified and 100% of a wrong can be completed. Don’t overlook an evil because you can see the good you can do if you don’t rock the boat.

Part of our ministry is to model that which is healthy and right. If that includes facing evil, calling it by name, suffering as a result and seeing the bigger picture, accept it and do so for the honor of Jesus.  He has done this all before us and so obtained His crown.

What To Do When Your Leaders Are Wrong: Part One

Several years ago, I read the book Toxic Faith. It sounded like the organizational handbook of the para-church ministry from which I had just resigned. While I wish my situation were unique, it was not and books are written because bad leadership does exist. Having said that, truly ‘toxic’ situations are not the norm, so this first blog is meant to address the more normal situational conflicts that arise when ‘your leaders are wrong’.

It’s important to define terms. Someone is “wrong” when their actions are contrary to that which is moral, ethical, and biblical.  There’s a myriad of things your leaders can do that are not, in your opinion, good judgement, but they are not “wrong”. It not morally wrong to be outdated, disorganized, inexperienced, non-intuitive or culturally naïve. Being any of those things will hinder the effectiveness of a ministry but it’s not morally wrong to be ineffective. This is not to raise inefficiency to a virtue but suffice to say it is not a moral vice.

Most of the time, if you have a conflict with a leader there is a difference of opinion, personality or generation, that is of no moral consequence.  I know that I make decisions that appear as though I am shooting from my aging hips when in fact I am making a decision based on more factors than I can reasonably articulate. Leaders should expect to answer reasonable questions, asked at a reasonable place and time. If you see your leader make a significant choice with which you don’t agree, make note of it and ask him or her about it, privately, at an appropriate time. Pick your topics wisely. If you don’t like the color scheme of the church nursery, get over it. If you lead youth group and don’t understand why certain activities are not permitted, ask those in authority in a private context. Questions asked publicly are often perceived (and subliminally intended) as a challenge to leadership. If you are asking in an appropriate way but get a response that is demeaning, and such responses are the norm, you have a real problem. (Be sure to read the next blog.)

But what do we do when leaders we love make poor choices?  How do you respond when your pastor is discouraged that people don’t participate in worship but you realize that having a music team that consists of a tambourine and zither player has made congregational participation difficult?

Step One: Talk to your leader.  In a healthy situation, you can probably talk most things out with your leader.  Maybe your pastor does not realize there are affordable alternatives to a live worship band. Maybe he secretly has nightmares about the zither, too. Most leaders are approachable if you are respectful. Be nice. Buy his/her coffee. Listen to your leader as much as you want him or her to listen to you. Maybe your pastor will be thrilled if you take ownership of the solution.  Give it a shot.

Step Two: Ask yourself why you are serving where you are. If you know the Lord called you to a certain ministry, stay where you are and wait until the Lord tells you to go. If your leaders are making poor choices that are not “wrong” perhaps your faithful service will win the right to be heard so there will be a change. Renting an inflatable castle for VBS is not an issue of right or wrong. The decision may not go your way, but if you are not the final authority for the church, remember that Christians in the world suffer fates worse than outdated VBS choices.

The bottom line is most issues are not issues of right or wrong.  Sadly, some issues are, when your leaders are truly wrong you will be on track for a very difficult road. That is why this is a two-part blog.

Sex Before Marriage

This piece comes by numerous confidential requests. Numerous. You are not alone.

We live in a sexually permissive age.  Your parents grew up in a sexually permissive age.  The gospel was preached throughout the known world in a sexually permissive age.  For all people, of all time, temptations are pretty much the same.  The difficultly in our current, media-driven world, is for Christians to know what is, and is not, acceptable behavior between unmarried people. Let’s start by stating some obvious, if uncomfortable, truths.

It Ain’t About Pregnancy

I have lost count of how many times young people will insist they are virgins because they did not engage in sexual conduct that could result in pregnancy. You can do a lot of sexually pleasurable things without the risk of conception. Meeting the biological definition of virginity does not mean you have never engaged in sexual immorality.  Be honest with yourself and with God.  Then try being honest with your peers.  Insisting you are pure as the driven snow because pregnancy was not possible requires either extraordinary self-deception or a level of naivete that is almost impossible to believe is sincere.

Where’s the Line?

There is a simple question to ask and answer:   “Would we do this in public?”

If the answer is ‘yes’ you can be pretty sure you are staying safe. You can kiss, hug, hold hands, embrace and do many things in public that will not prove an irresistible temptation. If, however, the answer to, “Can we do this in public?”, is ‘no’, then you can be quite certain you’re playing with fire.  No need to pray about whether or not it is sin.  If you can’t do something walking around in the park while families play nearby it is best to save it until after the ring.  If you are not comfortable with your future spouse imagining you in that situation, don’t go there.

Rather than trying to figure out the acceptable parameters in the midst of passionate interaction, determine healthy boundaries before you are in a situation that requires you draw the line.  If you are feeling tempted and tired, go home. Go home alone and send your beloved back to their place, alone, or with an irritatingly present roommate.  Don’t wait until you are exhausted and your judgment is compromised before you decide to call it a night.

What to Do if You Went Too Far

You are defined by the love of God as seen in the face of Jesus Christ, not by your biggest mistakes.  If you went too far, ask forgiveness and start afresh.  Agree with your significant other that you can’t play with fire and expect to be without scars. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is not OK with that, break up.  You might feel you can’t live without them but if the other person loves you and loves the Lord they will respect limits that keep you both safe.

Remember that this is a life-long grace walk.  God’s grace brought you this far. God’s grace will keep you.  Get moving in the right direction and don’t look back.

 

 

Ministering Across Generations

A young pastor recently asked me how to best minister to a congregation where the average attendee was 20-40 years his senior.  My advice: minister with gratitude, grace, and eyes of faith.  Those are attitudes with practical applications.

Gratitude

You inherited a treasure trove.  People who have faithfully attended and given to the church for years have walked the long road and they are still here.  That is far more valuable than one might appreciate in earlier decades of life.  Whether experiences good or bad, these folks have a lifetime of experiences: ministry experience, marriage and child rearing experience, reconciliation experience and more.  A wise person learns from all of life experience and you have inherited a church with hundreds of years of collective experiences and resources.  Thank God for these people and tell them so.  You will likely learn they are very grateful for you, too.

Grace

The fact you are a ‘nice young man’ or ‘nice young woman’ is a plus. Your congregation will love you just for showing up and looking neat and respectful.  They will be gracious about your preaching, which is a a win-win for a new preacher. Older people are smart enough to know if you faithfully preach the Bible, it is relevant and meeting their needs.

You best minister to your church members by reminding them of grace. Remind them of all the great truths that have borne them well thus far.  Remind them that in spite of the life’s disappointments and failures they still have purpose.  Grace got them launched on the journey and regardless of age, they will only continue and bless if they do so relying on God’s grace.

Eyes of Faith

We need a vision at all ages of life. This is harder to maintain as we age because we have so many physical limitations that we can’t do all we can see could happen.  That’s where you, the young person come in.

Last June, I heard a message where the speaker shared about several old New England churches that had under 10 elderly members and were looking to shut down and donate their buildings and resources to God’s kingdom. Rather than close, they were advised to prayerfully consider agreeing to stay open and take on a young pastor. Each church did this and within three years attendance had swelled to 60-80 people of various ages.  The original congregation had eyes of faith but not the physical energy to do what was needed.  Yet through prayer, lending what help they could and having faith to hang on, they helped re-establish an evangelical witness in their communities.

You might be thinking, “Vision?  Folks in my church can’t see past their next surgery”. True, it is easy to get inward focused with more of life’s challenges but this is where you remind people how much they are needed.  In a world of fractured families, many people are looking for mentors, grandparent-models and aunties.  We build based on the resources we have not our limitations.  I have friends who ‘retired’ from the mission field and within six months were teaching ESL to immigrant families.  They did not let age stop them from serving in God’s kingdom.

It is easy as a young pastor to feel you are failing older congregants if you can’t impart some spiritual wisdom on a regular basis. Unless they are newly saved, older people are well served by simply reminding them of things you might be learning for the first time.  The fact is, together, old  and young, we are the Body of Christ and His power to work a miracle of growth depends on the prayerfulness, faith, and vision of your church members.  It will never be limited by age.

 

Transgenderism

The topic of ‘transgenderism’ might seem new but it is not. There really is nothing new under the sun because people are remarkably the same in every generation. The only difference is we are talking openly about something that has always existed.  The hurt, pain, and rejection that cause and result from gender identity issues are as old as the fall of humanity.

We are created in God’s image, male and female.  We are created in God’s image even if we identify as transgender. Nothing removes that amazing beauty of being His image bearer.  Gender, like age, is not self-determined. We are born with the chromosomal combination that determines whether we are male or female. We may be content with our gender or consider it the source of deep emotional pain but no external physical modifications will alter the chromosomal combination with which we were born. Transgenderism is self-rejection at the most basic level.

Our Common Brokenness

We all struggle in many ways but Jesus does not distance Himself from us no matter how our brokenness manifests itself in our lives. At Calvary He demonstrated that He values everyone such that He paid the penalty for our sin, provided for our healing and paved the way for our reconciliation to God.  He loves us passionately and chose crucifixion rather than leave us in our broken condition. He made a clear path for us all that we might be restored.  No one is exempt from following that path.

In a world that has grown accustomed to hate speech the greatest lie about those struggling with gender identity issues is to say, “God loves you just like everyone else.  However, your pain and struggles are unique so you have to work it out yourself”.

Ministering to those Dealing with Transgenderism

We are ministers of reconciliation, not debate.  Much has been lost over the years by those who hate evil more than they loved good.  Don’t get caught up discussing things which can only distract from the love of God.  We love others and minister to their deepest needs by focusing on how we are the same not by debating our differences.

Gender identity issues or not, we all long to be known and loved, even though we are deeply flawed. Only Jesus can love like that.  Transgender or not, we all must come to the end of ourselves and realize we are powerless to change apart from the grace and mercy of God. The successful businessman who takes pride in his career is no different than the transgender teen trying to find a path in life.  Both are lost and self-deceived apart from the loving grace and healing mercy of Jesus Christ.

We are broken people in a broken world.  Jesus came to heal and restore us and no manifestation of our sin and brokenness is exempt.  We have a testimony that no one can refute,  “Jesus heals our brokenness”. Jesus never shamed the hurting. Shame never transformed anyone but the infinite love and grace of Jesus does.