The world has a lot of new words and phrases. “Politically Correct”. “Emotionally Safe”. “Unconscious Bias” and even “Boundaries” can be misused when they become an excuse for prioritizing yourself above others. Like many things, I hope much of this will pass with time. I am apolitical. Some days I feel more emotional than others. Unless someone is threatening my life, I do not feel “unsafe” and “emotional safety” is a great term coined by the world to make another self-centered experience truth. “Unconscious bias” is a bit Orwellian. I got a letter one time saying I had “thoughts that do violence to other people”. This apparently is because I go to church and read the Bible. I am not guessing that is the reason, they specifically named church going as a form of “thought violence”. I can say with certainty the person who made the comment knows zippo about my thoughts and I am not a mind reader of others in the congregation but I am sure they are not violent. If they are like me, they spend a good deal of time thinking about where they left their eyeglasses. The world is self-centered so we accept that is how the world thinks, which should not be confused with, “Act like the culture”.
The problem is when this language and mindset crept into the Church. People need to feel “safe”. God manifested Himself in the person of Jesus not for your safety but your salvation. He came to save you from your sins and then send you, in gratitude, to a world of people like yourself who need saving from their own sins and lack of understanding of the love of God.
I have had real safety issues. They required a room in which I could lock our family and wait out an impending attack. Safety did not mean I could not share a coffee with someone who was unlike me. It certainly did not mean I took advantage of someone’s good nature as long as it benefited me and when I no longer needed them I withdraw on the pretense of “I’m OK, that person is not. I will retreat to my safe place feigning responsibility while actually dumping my immaturity on them”. That does nothing more than allow people to create their own personal version of truth which is actually deceitful and destructive to both the speaker and possibly to the hearer. I would phrase that more gently but I have concluded it is unkind to not to speak the truth here. People err. You are a person. If you are the standard of perfection, then I assure you, you will find an infinitely small number of people with whom you feel safe. As you are not perfect, you should be really comfortable being with other non-perfect people and comforting to other non-perfect people as well. That’s your choice. The alternative is a very lonely future.
The world is lost. Lost. People are desperately in need not of being their true selves. Your true self is either a self-promoting delusion or a truthful disappointment. People need to see themselves as desperately inadequate, and in need of a Savior who loves them without condition. No one is going to figure this out while hiding in self-protection.
As Christians, we are called to die to ourselves daily. You cannot do that in a “safe place” where you feel OK “safe” dying to yourself. Dying is not comfortable. It does it prioritize your needs. The Christian concept of dying to self, prioritizes others and their need to know Jesus.
Sacrifice your ego, your anger, your sense of rights, your idea of what is healthy for you personally (which might be very unhealthy for someone else, which you are biblically required to consider) and live for Jesus.
It is written, “We are dead and our lives are hid with Christ in God”. If you believe that, cut up your safety net, get out of your space and let go of your indignation. Live like someone who knows their ties to this present world and all the ideology that goes with it, is past.
Ultimately, you age and when you do, you do not want to regret years spent wasted in self-protection. We are “always, only, all for Him”.